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It honestly seems like a statistical miracle that anyone would meet the right person either way. No, I had no expectations. You see friends get married, stay married, and build long-lasting relationships while you tag along as a third wheel. Overall, it felt like a whirlwind.
We all heard different things from different guys and were surprised at the different sides they showed to each of us. It seems hard and weird and too much trouble.
After all, I could write about it. When you see your path ahead of you, you see yourself in it alone.
Heartbreak or no heartbreak, romance or no romance, life is about these kinds of experiences and these kinds of moments. It was time to realize that I have never truly known if all that control I was exerting was empowering or stifling. Friendly, at ease, genuine.
But it was time to let go. We all thought none of the men felt special. That was something to look forward to.
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But also, in my job as a law and society analyst, I spend so much of my time researching people who grapple with divorce. It was at a small but hip hotel bar. When it was over, the guys lingered, hoping some of the women would stay. Downtown traffic was going to suck. It was early enough for me to drive home and write this before going to bed.
One of them had a creepy look behind his eyes. That made none of the evening a waste of time. Plus I asked my Facebook universe if I should do it, and they insisted that I should. But then there I was, sitting in a row of women who had also had their hearts broken, talking to men who had also had their hearts broken, and realizing that my fears and pains were average.
The humanness of it was palpable, and the whole thing actually quite simple. So of course, I decided to speed date. In contrast, dating feels like a contrived hassle, a social annoyance. We left together, talking about the men, online dating closing lines sharing our dating stories and laughing. And you settle into it because the alternative seems too difficult.
We all thought the same guy was creepy. This all made them more interesting to me.
One guy asked me to describe my greatest success at work. Two women I chatted with before the event had parked their car far away and asked me if I could give them a ride.
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My friend Annalisa and I went out to dinner recently. We talked about how great the city we live in is. After I dropped off my new friends, I sat still for a moment in my car. What I do know is that the few women I met were delightful.
One guy liked country dancing. En route, I drove by a great Mexican restaurant. They might get overlooked for men with more bravado and better physiques.
Did I meet the love of my life? One wore a thick gold chain.
In these cases, important legal decisions can hinge on very personal perceptions of future possibilities. We were chatting about being in a rut and needing to get out there again. After tonight, I understand why.
Oh, the power of social media. This might sound obvious, but let me explain. They were the guys who, in most social situations, might watch rather than participate.
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